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June Frost
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Rev. June Frost |
 I grew up in the Catholic Church, and although I attended public schools, I also went to weekly catechism classes. The nuns taught me how and when to make the sign of the cross in the church, how to talk to the priest in the confessional, and had us memorize prayers, such as the “Lord’s Prayer”, the “Hail Mary”, and the “Act Of Contrition” prayer, as well as pray the Rosary. I received my first Holy Communion and my Confirmation. I joined the youth group, but became very disenchanted because the kids acted “religious” in front of the priests and nuns, but outside of the church they cussed, smoked, drank beer and got drunk on the weekends. I dropped out of the youth group, and only went to mass on Sunday mornings because my parents insisted. Through the religious classes I went to in the Catholic church, I knew some things “about” God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, but I realized in high school I did’t “know” God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit in a personal way. When I was five years old, I knew I was different, and in high school I figured out how - I liked girls! I worked very hard to repress my attraction to girls. I dated boys, went steady, always had boyfriends, sometimes two or three at a time! I tried desperately to be normal, and have normal feelings for boys, but it wasn’t happening. When I was a senior I met a real cute girl who was a freshman. I had a major crush on her. Linda was a Christian, and she talked to me about God and about how much Jesus loved her, and how much He loved me. Linda made it seem like I could have my own, personal relationship with Jesus. All I had to do was confess my sins and repent, and ask Jesus to come into my heart to be my Saviour. Well, I had this big secret! I was attracted to girls! When I told Linda, she said I could talk to Jesus about it and pray, and He would take care of all my problems because He is God. She prayed with me several times, too. I wrestled with this information for several weeks. Besides being attracted to girls, I was smoking marijuana, drinking alcohol, and even sneaking pills from my mom’s prescription bottles, trying get high and fit in with some of my friends. The Holy Spirit was battling the devil for my soul, and many days I literally felt as if there was a war going on inside of me, in my mind, my spirit and my body, tearing me apart! Friday the 13th is considered a superstitious, unlucky day by most people. Friday, May 13th, 1977, was “senior skip day” at my school, ND most of the seniors cut their classes, went tubing down the river, or had keg parties somewhere in the desert. I cut my classes, but not to party. I spent the entire day in a back corner of the school library, sitting in a beanbag chair, reading a bible, praying and crying. On that Friday, May 13, 1977, at approximately one o’clock that afternoon, the battle was finished, God defeated the devil in the fight for my soul. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, gave my life to Him, was filled with the Holy Spirit and experienced His power and peace flood my entire being! My life changed from that moment on! I walked out of the school library a totally different person. The first thing I did was take my marijuana, roach clip, and onyx toke stone, and toss them in a trash can. The devil tried to tell me I had friends who would pay good money for that stuff, but the power of the Holy Spirit was in me and I told the devil no one was going to get those things because they were wrong and did nothing but hurt the people who used them! The next day I told Linda I accepted Jesus as my Saviour and was born again, and she hugged me, jumped up and down, clapping and shouting “Praise the Lord!” I was so happy and at peace at that time. I thought everyone would be happy for me. However, when I told some of my other friends about being born again, a few of them asked what I did with my drugs and paraphernalia. When I told them I threw it all away, they were mad! My instincts told me being “born again” was not going to be popular with some people. My best friend of mine asked if I told my mom. I said no, not yet, and she said my mom would be furious! Somehow, I already knew that, and it made me sad. But, I was not going to go back - I had given my life to Jesus, He made me feel good inside, and I had a peace I couldn’t explain. People started noticing I was acting differently. I stopped swearing like a sailor! I didn’t get mad like I used to. I didn’t go smoking dope, but instead told those friends I was “high on Jesus”. They started calling me a “Jesus freak”! My mom noticed I was acting differently, and I very guardedly told her a little bit about my born again experience. She sternly warned me if went off some “religious deep end” she would start taking me to a psychiatrist! She did give me a Catholic bible, however, so I could start learning more about God. Because of the power of the Holy Spirit, I had an insatiable desire to get to know Jesus better. That Catholic bible was the King James version, and for a teenager, it was like a foreign language. For Christmas all I asked for was a new bible called “The Way”. My mom didn’t understand why I didn’t want anything else, but I told her I had everything I could ever want, except for “The Way” bible. She again warned me about becoming a “religious fanatic”, but I think she kind-of liked the new me, so for Christmas 1977 I received my new bible! Every night I spent hours reading that bible, underlining scriptures, keeping notebooks with impressions the Holy Spirit gave me about what the scriptures meant and how to apply them in my life. My hunger to know Jesus was insatiable! I looked for and found answers for my life, except one thing - my attraction to women. I found all the scriptures which said homosexuality was a sin, and I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to take those desires from me - but He didn’t! I was trying so hard to be “normal”, and began sexual experimentation with guys I was dating, thinking if they made me “feel good” I would be cured of my attraction to women. Well, that didn’t work, either! I married in 1979, and I thought if I was a good wife and made my husband happy, then I would be happy. Not! I continued to pray for God to take away my desires for women - but again He didn’t! I became very depressed - my marriage was falling apart, I was falling apart emotionally, mentally and spiritually - my life was disintegrating. After being married to my husband for 10 years, serving as a Sunday school teacher, a girl’s youth group leader and deacon’s wife in our church, I reached a point where it became clear to me that the only way for me to find peace was to stop living the lie - or stop living - period! I chose to stop living the lie, but that choice meant I lost most everything else - my husband, my home, my friends, my church, and my job. It was a long time before the ramifications of living that lie were healed. As I tried to live life as a lesbian, I made one bad relationship choice after another. I stopped going to church - I knew I wouldn’t be welcomed. I read and re-read many, many times the scriptures that seemed to condemn my life, and I asked God why, why did I have to be this way! Yet, I always knew I had Jesus, He was my Saviour, He loved me, and He would never leave me or forsake me! Having Jesus in my life was the only healthy relationship choice I made for years. I spent 18 years wandering in my own wilderness, trying to make relationships work under my own power, thinking God could not possibly bless gay relationships. In 2005, at the end of yet another relationship in which I was unequally yoked with a non-Christian woman, God had me sit down and list characteristics I desired in the lady with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. For the first time ever I paid attention to God, who showed me the type of lady He wanted me to share my life with, instead of “settling” for someone so I wouldn’t be alone. Then, God brought Cecilia and I together - via the internet. God blesses my life in very unconventional ways! I guess He does it so I will know without a doubt it’s Him working in my life! Cecilia is blessed with the fruits of the Spirit, and has such a beautiful soul I fell in love with her before we ever met in person. Cecilia has ministered so much to my life, and as a result my relationship with God has grown deeper than I could have ever imagined! To say I am very, very blessed is such an understatement. There’s no earthly language which adequately conveys the depth of God’s wonderful grace which covers my life, but only the heavenly language of the Holy Spirit comes close to describing His amazing love! |
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